June 30, 2013

The following excerpt is from the testimony “My Roller Coaster Ride to Freedom from Unwanted SSA” published on the JONAH website: … “Thank G-d my mom persisted and finally I attended a JONAH meeting where I heard three men who were willing to share their experiences about their journey out of unwanted SSA. I was able to identify with these men and their backgrounds. Our stories were somewhat similar in a weird way. Although I still wasn’t convinced that this work was for me, something clicked inside me and I agreed to give it a try. Little did I realize then that I was agreeing to get on the most volatile roller coaster of my life; mind you I should also say the most rewarding one as well.”

“I even went on a Journey Into Manhood weekend and started therapy while keeping one foot in the lifestyle. Of course that didn’t work so I decided to give up on the therapy altogether After a while I started getting more depressed and realized I needed a change, so I started a food diet. That worked for a bit and I realized I needed more change – an internal change. So I stopped using drugs and joined a 12 step program. That’s when all my original therapy started to come full circle. I was finally able to think with a clear mind. I started to realize the emotional wounding I suffered with, restarted therapy, and got back on the wagon.”

“I did Journey Continues, New Warriors, Mothers Weekend, Nobleman, a few Shabbatons and lots of groups and meetings. Even now, I continue doing the work, attend mens groups and 12-step meetings. I understand how vital this work is for my well-being. Fear was and continues to be a big obstacle in my life. Since I do not wish to live in fear, I try to do whatever is in my power to overcome it.”

“Once I started to work on myself and started to change, all those around me seemed to be changing as well. My children. My family. My friends. My community members. My business relationships. It was like magic. The truth was that I was the one who was changing and the people around me were responding to my change. Thank G-d, I have since remarried which has brought a whole new set of challenges and many rewards as well.”

“Why am I sharing this with you? To give you hope. To let you know change is possible. My hope is that you identify with one or more of the things I said. This journey is possible. I’m living proof of it. Is it easy? Heck no. There were many, and I continue to have, days I just want to throw up my hands and give up. My emotional wounding is deep and continues to rear its ugly head. I just know that going back to that other lifestyle is not a choice for me.” …