compiled by Thomas Coy from www.joedallas.com and Desires in Conflict by Joe Dallas.
Married to Renee, two sons
Joe Dallas is the Program Director of Genesis Counseling in Tustin, California, a counseling ministry for men dealing with sexual addiction, homosexuality and other sexual/relational problems. He is a pastoral counselor, a popular conference speaker and the author of five books on human sexuality from the Christian perspective: The Game Plan, Desires in Conflict, When Homosexuality Hits Home, Unforgiven Sins, and A Strong Delusion, (an updated version was released under new title The Gay Gospel? How Pro-Gay Advocates Misread the Bible). Joe is a former president of Exodus International.
Joe Dallas’ entry into the homosexual world began when he was eight years old. As a child Joe Dallas was very sensitive and felt that he was unacceptable, stupid, weak, and different. When middle-aged men began taking an interest in him, he “drank it up like a thirsty puppy.” Joe Dallas wrote that “Molestation doesn’t necessarily cause adult homosexuality … But molestation does cause, in all cases confusion.” Into high school Joe Dallas was promiscuous heterosexually and homosexually.
During his junior year of high school Joe Dallas became a born again Christian and his life turned around 180 degrees. Although he remained celibate as he grew as a Christian, he continued to have sexual fantasies and memories that he was ashamed of. He became a full time ministry leader and reasoned that the more he served God, the more he could atone for his fantasies.
After he resigned from a ministry position where he felt he had been let down, he yielded to temptation and began a period of heterosexual and homosexual promiscuity. Within a few years his fast pace life was burning him out and he sought a more stable compromise. He found it in the gay church (Metropolitan Community Church). There he “could pass as Christian, without any requirement – especially sexual ones – being made of” him.
That period in his life lasted for six years with Joe Dallas becoming a leader in his local Metropolitan Community Church. During a January evening in 1984 as Joe Dallas pondered on his life’s journey, his spirit became convicted that he was in rebellion against God. Through tears he confessed that he had been wrong and that he had to change. In 1984 Joe Dallas began his journey as a Christian ex-gay. He “stopped all sexual relations with men in January of that year, along with pornography and the use of male and female prostitutes.” His main identity was now in Jesus Christ and he has experienced change in every aspect of his life. He dated his wife, Renee, three years before they married and describes his marriage as “a monogamous relationship, a fulfilling sex life, and a partnership I would match against anyone’s.” (* The quotes and information in Joe Dallas’ testimony were taken from his book Desires in Conflict – Hope for Men Who Struggle with Sexual Identity.)
Factors of Homosexual Causation:
Joe Dallas was a sensitive child. He “felt every slight or insult a hundred times more deeply (or so it seemed) than other boys.” He cried easily, was awkward in groups, and created his own world where he would not feel rejected. As a child Joe’s father made him feel that he was not the type of son that a father preferred to have. From those feelings young Joe believed he “was unacceptable, stupid, weak, and, above all, very, very, different.”
When Joe was eight his mother learned that pedophiles were hanging around downtown at certain theatres. She told Joe not to go there because “There are men at those places who’ll want you.” Young Joe had no idea what his mother’s fears were about, but he would reflect, “Nothing sounded better to me than the thought of being wanted by a man.” The awkward child wanted to be accepted into and be a part of the male world, but no one was nurturing him into it. He was easy pickings for his home town pedophiles. Joe Dallas reflected on that first encounter, “I didn’t want sex. I had no idea, in fact, sex existed, much less what it was like. But I’m sure, after 15 minutes of conversation with this genial guy who so obviously liked me, everything in my eyes and attitude was saying, “Whatever you want, as long as you keep liking me, I’m game.””
As if boys aren’t confused enough with their sexual identity, sexual molestation exponentially confuses them more. When a pedophile performs oral sex or stimulates the penis of a young boy the boy experiences sexual sensations. Not only do these sensations register in the brain as pleasure the boy will rationalize that he must be a homosexual or he would not have been sexually stimulated by the actions of the pedophile.
Motivation for Change:
Joe Dallas had proclaimed that Jesus was the Christ sent from God the Father to pay for the sins of the world in his junior year of high school. Joe had become a born again Christian and that commitment meant that he would follow God’s plan for mankind and he would strive to become more like Jesus. Joe fell away from that commitment and in January of 1984 he repented. In Joe’s own words, “I confessed to God what He had known all along. I had been wrong, and I had to change.”
Personal Change Process:
Not available at this time.