October 13, 2012

In an article entitled “Black, gay and Christian, Marylanders struggle with conflicts” two stories are told. One story is Rev. Grace Harley’s which went from a childhood adoration of her father and dislike of her mother to an eighteen year lesbian identity to freedom from homosexuality. (Following are excerpts from the Baltimore Sun) “Her spirituality returned to her through an unexpected medium — a same-sex relationship. In 1992, she found herself in one that, for the first time, transcended the physical. She began to wonder whether their attraction was right in the eyes of God, and Harley did not want to sin with someone she loved. Her partner, she says, sensed a change in her. ‘One morning, my girlfriend woke up, looked at me and said, ‘You’re different.’ She was right. From that day to now, I’ve had no fantasies or attractions to women. Not one.’”

“The ‘ex-gay’ movement is so controversial it’s hard to get those within it to talk on the record. California lawmakers even voted this month to ban ‘conversion therapy’ — an approach by which counselors, often Christian ones, attempt to ‘cure’ gays of their homosexuality — for minors in the state. People who publicly advocate the conversion approach often meet with protest.”

“Harley believes fervently that one can become an ‘ex-gay’ — it has happened to her, she says, so contrary to popular belief, it can happen — but she experienced no such indoctrination.”

“The change wasn’t always so pleasant. Like a stage in detox, it left her in need. One day, Harley says, she found herself driving on Interstate 495, overwhelmed with a sense of sorrow. She pulled over to the shoulder as the traffic raced by. ‘God, why did you let me deceive myself?’ she cried out.”

“At times, she says, she felt so empty she didn’t want to live. She, too, contemplated ways of taking her life. Like Thomas, she found something new through the pain.”